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| A sandal with a broken strand |
In November 2015, I took a creative
break. So I spent the last 2 months of the year building content for my blog
and learning new tricks, useful on the blogging space. I also worked on a new
name for my blog, although this took a lot of building and tearing down I
eventually had one.
Over the holidays I had saved 3,000/=:
I would spend 1,000/= to register with BAKE, and the remaining cash for my
daily needs such as airtime and what have you (tight budget ahh!). By the time
I left shagz on 3rd January 2016, I just couldn’t wait to get my
blog up and running and yes, I never saw anything, in heaven, earth or even
hell that could derail me.
Few days after my arrival in Nairobi I
received a call from my dad at around 8am. He did not sound as strong as he
always did on the phone. I could feel that he was struggling to laugh at my
jokes. I could feel that he was reaching too deep to find energy reserves to
finish the conversation, but in vain.
He then told me he was ill.
I was quite shaken because; one, it was
unlike my dad to tell people that he was unwell especially his kids and two, my
mind insinuated that this was something serious (you know how the mind takes
you to places you don’t wanna go?).
I had a hunch this was not the cold that
passed after a few day or the fever that faded without medication. After the
phone call I could simply not shake off the feeling that something terrible was
imminent.
Somehow the same mind created an idea
that this was just a passing cloud, in an effort to make me feel better. The
two ideas played in my mind in turns with equal frequency leaving me nervous
wreck. By 12 noon, the cloud had not passed and my dad was en route to Nairobi
for urgent medical attention accompanied by the love of his life, mother dear. I
was taken over by fear, and you can understand because I have lived for 2
decades and I had never seen my dad suffer from anything more than a common
cold or a simple cough. After examination by the doctors, he was admitted.
We were down financially (I mean we
were just fresh from Christmas holiday!).
Every one of the 5 family members was
required to contribute towards the new costs at hand (daily transport to and
from the hospital, special diet, et al). I reached for my precious 3,000/=, though
it was difficult to watch the money go along with my grand plans,
the reward of the hope to see my dad heal
fast was greater.
See I had grand plans, I thought I had
it all figured out: But that’s the thing nothing is fail proof as long as you
are human and living in this world. And it’s not such a terrible thing; in fact
it’s okay when even the grandest plans of them get warped. Because it keeps us
on check. Being cognizant of the fact that we are not in absolute control of our fate (it’s okay if you don’t believe in fate) is a subtle way to keep us
grounded.
Not a single human being has ever
successfully turned off their emotions, achieving a state of complete ‘not
feeling’. This is a luxury that only vampires on ‘The Vampire Diaries’ have. Knowing
that you are susceptible to pain, that you are not invincible can frighten you
but it can also cause you to remain humble in equal measure.
My father was admitted for 2 weeks and
a few days, I was devastated, I was broken and my family was drained
financially: A bunch of ugly things happened to me and my family in this time
but it was also a time when I seriously counted my blessings. We got to go home
with our father a great blessing since I know it does always go down like that
for every family.
I have not registered with BAKE and my
family is still putting the hard financial puzzles together.
Did you have something going on that
hit a bump? Then know that it is okay, you are not the first, you are not the
only one and you won’t be last. Pick something from that mess and give it
another fierce shot.
